Melinda and me at the 150th Anniversary Kick Off Gala for our alma mater, Gustavus Adolphus College

On Halloween night, 30 years ago, a small, wiry college boy dressed like a “tree” met a twinkling, blonde college girl dressed like “Raggedy Andy” in a sea of partiers. The sparks that flew still ignite the tree today.

Yes, Melinda and I met at a 1982 Halloween boondoggle at Gustavus Adolphus College.  I’m proud to say that the tree and the rag-doll have a strong satisfying marriage that is based on giving.  My contemporary wisdom tells me that marriages thrive when each partner “gives” more than they “take.” We all know some days are better than others!  And yet, if you still want to give in the morning, it’s going to be a great day!

One of the sparks today is our love affair with Gustavus.  We are heavily invested with Ben and Katie both attending the college — leading and growing in so many ways.  Gustavus continues to be one of the tap roots for the family tree.  And so, we are giving.  And it feels Good.

Christ Chapel, at the center of Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter, Minnesota, USA

This week, we made the largest charitable commitment of our lifetime.  A five year commitment in cash and a lifetime legacy gift.  Let’s be clear: they aren’t going to name a building after us…but maybe a hallway.  As a self-funded entrepreneur, financially I’m worth way more dead than alive — and we’re still paying two sets of college tuition! But Melinda and I searched our souls and made the commitment to participate with a lead gift for Campaign Gustavus.  We cut a few things from the family budget, carved a big chunk out of our will and gave it to Gustavus.  We dug deep and it feels Good.  We intend to continue the good work of the Center for Servant Leadership Mentoring Program and Music Scholarships.

The whole process got me thinking – and dreaming – about “where is this Seven Fs thing going, anyway?” Recently I’ve been inspired by Richard Lieder, John Busacker and Harvey Mackay – all successful authors and speakers.  The Gustavus gift process helped clarify my intentions to put the Seven Fs on the map as a framework for Good Leadership. The world today needs good leaders — people who are consumed by leading a well-rounded Seven Fs life and driven by goodness.

We intend to rival Stephen Covey or the Chicken Soup for the Soul entities one day.  That’s my big, hairy, audacious goal…and it is enough to shake the leaves off the old tree!

Good leaders follow their hearts.  They dig deep and spread their good will by giving more than they take.  Every day.

Will you please send me a note with your own thoughts about why giving feels so good to you?

There's me, in the center of the Big Givers to Gustavus...under dressed, and overwhelmed with their generosity.

Personally, I’m looking forward to celebrating with yet another charismatic Aries who shares the same birthday as me — March 28.  We agreed he’s fortunate in that he will celebrate 100 years old four years after me.

The life of David Kansas has come full circle. He grew up in St. Paul, spread his wings around the globe, returned home to raise a family and become the COO for American Public Media. David’s day to day responsibilities now resemble the chaotic energy of his journalism days.  Within his realm of responsibilities are 42 radio stations including Minnesota Public Radio, Southern California Public Radio and Classic South Florida Public Radio; The Fitzgerald Theater in St. Paul, the production of “Prairie Home Companion” and the for-profit publishing company Greenspring.

Celebrity Mad Money man Jim Cramer helped celebrate David's and Paul's birthday: March 28

His journey includes a celebrated career as a business, sports and religion journalist. He’s worked with CNBC crazy man Jim Cramer and media mogul Rupert Murdoch. He ran The Wall Street Journal.com, and struggled through two start-ups. Today he and his wife are raising a 20-month old son, working on his fitness and searching for an inspiring outlet for his love of singing. And for special friends, he is licensed to perform marriage ceremonies: six and counting!

Good leaders seize the opportunity to reflect on their journey and share their insights with others — we never stop learning or teaching as we follow our dreams.

This is our third year hosting the Good Leadership Breakfast — thanks to your encouragement and support, this event is becoming the premier networking and leadership breakfast in the Twin Cities…we are the only place on the planet where we celebrate and embrace the Seven Fs: faith, family, finances, fitness, friends, fun and future as a framework to promote good leadership.  Tickets are selling fast , just a handful left for this first meeting of our Spring Series: Personal and Professional Planning.

Following David’s breakfast talk, I will interview him about the Seven Fs.  Drop me a note with any specific questions you’d like me to ask David.

See you Friday for breakfast?

Hot Yoga, really hard work to find peace of mind and relaxation

I think Yoga is my new favorite four letter word.  My 2012 New Year’s blog included a well-rounded summertime snapshot where my physique resembled the beer can I was holding.  I also included that photo in my very first column last week for the popular Faith and Fitness Magazine: I’m the one writer who is “not a fitness guy.”  Check it out if you want a little chuckle.

The strategy of that self-deprecating commentary was to see if I could rise to a whole new level of self-discipline, buoyed by the encouragement and accountability of the court of public opinion.  My 2012 Seven Fs goal is to learn to enjoy ‘fitness.’  I asked you for advice and the Success Habits you provided resembled a virtual avalanche — from P90X, to fasting, to training for a marathon (yeah right.)  But the “Hot Yoga” suggestion is the one that caught my fancy.

A very successful woman friend raved about the benefits of stretching, balancing and sweating buckets 3-4 times a week.  As my curiosity grew, I turned to Google to see what I was getting myself into.  I learned three things: 1) The skin is our body’s largest organ — the health benefits of sweating out our stress toxins (coffee and beer included) are appealing.  2) Yoga improves core strength, balance and flexibility — all things necessary for playing golf well.  And 3) Yoga improves focus, concentration, and it teaches type-A people like me how to relax.  With all those benefits…how could I say ‘no!?’

My first class was four days ago and I’m still as sore as Michelle Bachman’s pride.  It is obvious to me my friend led me down the on-ramp of the Indianapolis 500 speedway on my ten-speed Schwinn bicycle.  At one point the instructor actually said to me:  “that’s good Paul…now you can lean back in that position.  I grunted: “I thought I was leaning back!” The lady next to me tried to apologize as she broke into laughter.

As I gazed into my own eyes in the half-fogged mirror wall, I couldn’t clear my mind of my “earthly thoughts” as I was commanded to do…all I could think about was this:  “how hard do I have to work at being relaxed?” Honest to Jody, I couldn’t even get the hang of the laying down on the mat thing right.

At the end of the day — I think it was worth it.  Spending 90 minutes in a Hot Yoga studio in the middle of a Minnesota winter is awesome.  And after sweating out a six pack, my skin felt as radiant as the women on the Cosmopolitan magazine covers. I’m finding the humiliation to be motivating: I’m going to go back there and show myself  I can work hard enough at Yoga to actually learn to “listen to my body” and “clear my earthly thoughts” and enjoy the sight of myself when I’m told to “gaze into your own eyes.”

Good leaders know how to swallow their own pride and surrender to the experts when the time is right. So, what do you think, should I sign up for some personal Yoga lessons, learn to focus, concentrate and relax, even if it kills me?

Drop me a note and share your thoughts.

Harvey Mackay gave me one of his famous Shark ties in his living room

I’m excited about this blog for two specific reasons: 1) this is my 100th blog  and 2) I get to quote my grandfather as the source of advice I still remember to this day….

How many people do you know who have a hardwood basketball court in their home between the living room and the guest bedrooms?  Last week I was invited to a Minnesota Gopher fundraiser, including an intimate evening of conversation in the home of Harvey Mackay. It takes a huge home to house the larger than life persona Harvey brings into any room.  He is a world renowned entrepreneur, author and professional speaker who has sold more than 12 million books.  His most recent: The Mackay MBA of Selling, is a New York Times Bestseller.

The appetizer course included a free-throw shooting contest (next to his living room!) where everyone was required to compete.  No options out.  I really admire the women dressed in high heels who were pressured into tossing three air balls in a row!

Dave Horsager practiced, while Harvey rebounded

The irony of the evening is worth mentioning: the contest involved shooting Minnesota Gopher basketballs for the benefit of U of M scholarships.  Alas! Two Gustavus grads took home the hardware! Heidi Rosati (class of 1988) and I (class of 1985) were the winners.  I made four in a row to beat my pals Dave Horsager, Joe Schmidt and Sam Richter.  Our prizes were autographed NBA playoff basketballs: Superstar Lebron James for Heidi, and the NBA’s Most Valuable Player, Derek Rose, for me.  Sweet!

Two Gusties took home the hardware: Heidi Rosati and Paul Batz were congratulated by a grinning Harvey

The living room conversation was almost as lively as the free throw contest.  Harvey shared stories about his father, his children, Lou Holtz, Larry King, trips to China, golfing at Augusta, etc… My question to Harvey: “What one piece of advice do you remember to this day?“  His answer was simultaneously sincere and very well rehearsed: “My father taught me, when I was 18 years old, when I meet someone new, I need to be thinking about ‘How can I help this person?‘” And then he said: “for instance…I really like the Seven Fs — I think you are on to something kid! And I’m going to find a way to help you.“  Suddenly, Gopher pride was growing.

My grandfather, Ken Hunter, taught me when I was a teenager I could never collect enough handshakes — we need to know a lot people for a healthy, satisfying life.  I live by his words of wisdom today.

Good leaders accept advice and hone success habits to carry with them for the rest of their lives.  That’s why I made the scholarship donation and accepted the invitation to collect handshakes in the home of Harvey Mackay.  Thank you Grandpa Hunter.

Send me a note and tell me: What one piece of advice do you remember to this day?

Naples National Golf Course the site of the Koch Partners annual guys golf trip

Three years ago my satisfaction with ‘friends’ on the Seven Fs was discouragingly low.  My son had the nerve to grow up, go to college and leave me without my daily guy-fix.  The three women left at home didn’t understand.  The culture at my workplace was deteriorating and my emotional stability mirrored the stock market.  It helped to know I wasn’t alone in my feelings of isolation. A colleague beautifully stated the obvious: “I’m more than 40 years old now and I’m starting to understand that sometimes life is hard.” Wow!…a mind reader.

Fast forward to January, 2012.  I’m crafting this message mid-air returning from a guys’ golf trip in Naples, Florida.  My “friends” score just got a booster shot.  Seven red-blooded males battled over $20 bills on the skinny fairways of Naples National Golf Club. It’s wickedly difficult in a way that makes golf-lovers smile extra wide.

Gotta love a state of the art, Aston Martin Rapide.

We also ogled over Maseratis, Ferraris and one particular Aston Martin which drew intense envy.  We stayed out way too late, laughed at octogenarian disco-dancers, drank one too many Tequila shots and freely absorbed the Florida sun.  We might need a vacation to recover from our vacation.

The most satisfying part of the boondoggle was the reassurance of knowing we share many of the same joys and challenges.  Everyone has a story about where they came from, where they are today and where they are going.  We’re all in love with our families, proud of what we have overcome and motivated by what’s ahead.  With friends at the center, we shared fitness, fun and finances – and stories about family, faith and future.  A Seven Fs clean sweep.

Yes, sometimes life is hard.  But as long as the sun rises the next day, our friends will give us a ‘mulligan’ on the first tee.

Good leaders protect the time to relax, get away and soak up positive energy from people they admire. It doesn’t have to be Naples National — Starbucks or Perkins works too.  Friends have a way of energizing one another.

Please join me in congratulating the 2012 golfing Grand Champion, Phil.  Happy Birthday to Dominski, and thanks to Mr. Koch for making it happen again this year.  And the Oscar goes to my wife Melinda for encouraging me to go again this year.

Drop me a note: how are you generating your personal positive energy these days?

Granted, my grandmother was an accomplished musician; opera singer, school music teacher and piano instructor.  But Chopin Etudes at 90?  She was retired, widowed, living alone and building a strategy to get the most out of last chapter in her life.  Her physique was consistent with rural Iowa women.  But her mind was as sharp as a New York Times columnist.  Her spirit was Ferrari red.  Why not set an audacious goal to accomplish on the piano what most twenty-something aspiring musicians do while pursuing a Masters in piano?  She learned, and memorized all 27, and lived 13 more years.  That’s Betty White air.

So, what are you working on?  Human beings were meant to work hard and build things.  We find joy in dreaming, purpose in the pursuit and meaning when building things. That’s what builds character.  People admire and follow character.

Me?  I’m learning to enjoy improving my fitness (dropped 4 pounds last week!)  I’m teaching 30 kids the music to a church play.  I’m building a coaching and publishing business.  I’m finding mental toughness and focus in my golf game.  I’m accepting all the people, speed bumps, ups and downs in my life as a gift — grateful for how they make me who I am today.  Through more than 25 years of coaching leaders, I’ve learned one of the most rewarding questions to ask is:  What are you working on?

The Spring 2012 Good Leadership Breakfast begins February 17, 2012.  The theme is Personal and Professional Planning.  You’ll hear great stories from good leaders who are always working on something good!  Watch for your registration email tomorrow, or visit the site now and sign-up one day early!

So…What’s your Chopin Etude?  What are you working on that brings you joy, purpose and meaning?  Good leaders wake up every day with a vision for how the work they have on their plates today, makes them the person they want to be when they grow up.

Drop me a note: what are you working on?

We all have expectations about what we wanted in our lives by ‘what age.’  Some wear those expectations on their sleeves, others bury them in their souls.  Most people credit friends and family for shaping them…others point out intimate conversations with Good Leaders who opened their eyes to new possibilities.

I’m so pleased to announce the Good Leadership Breakfast for 2012. Your intense interest and strong words of encouragement were too much to ignore. So, we have a wonderful dance-card  to stretch your vision of what’s possible for you.

Our Spring 2012 Series will feature speakers centered around the theme Personal and Professional Planning; embracing and celebrating the Seven Fs; Faith, Family, Finances, Fitness, Friends, Fun and Future.

February 17: Dave Kansas, COO of American Public Media, will share his story: “How the arts made me the leader I  am today.”

March 16: Sam Richter, best selling author and founder of Know More, will share his thoughts on: “How genuine appreciation can grow your life and career.”

April 27: Scott Anderson, CEO of Patterson Companies, will share his personal insights: “Why the learning never stops, a glimpse into my development journey.”

May 18: Sue Mulkern, CHRO of Optum Health, will share: “How my personal convictions help shape work/life wellness at Optum Health.”

Again this year, Minnesota Valley Country Club is our home.  You’ll find a wonderful breakfast buffet, compelling networking and extraordinary food for thought around the Seven Fs.  This year we are proud to announce Minnesota Business magazine as our media sponsor, The Discovery Forum and Thrivent Financial for Lutherans as our Series Sponsors.

Tickets will go on sale Tuesday, January 17 — and will be limited to the first 100 people registered for each breakfast.

Good leaders go out of their way to expand their horizons — personally and professionally. We hope you consider joining us for the Good Leadership Breakfast — it’s the place where Good Leaders get together with good intentions, to make great things possible!

Now, back to our premise: drop me a quick note and tell me…are you getting ahead, or falling behind — I’d love to know why.  Seize the day!

Here's what 20 pounds in 18 years looks like

When writing the book: What Really Works, Blending the Seven Fs for the Life You Imagine, Tim Schmidt and I discovered many inspiring Fitness stories.  He wrote most of the Fitness chapter, and alas, he started working out more and eating less.  Today, he certainly looks a lot more like Adonis than I do…he’s arrested the culturally-accepted one-pound-per-year thing. So, today I sit here pondering my options.  Two days ago, most people made some sort of New Year’s Resolution — it’s no surprise that “I’m going to lose weight” is the most ridiculed cliché of the resolution ritual.  The Today Show says so.  I feel great…but do I have the character to arrest the slide? As God as my witness (and a couple thousand people who read this blog) I’m going to arrest the one pound a year accumulation this year. That means I will need to embrace the only thing that really works: commit to the Code RED lifestyle. To quote our own book: maintaining a fit and healthy body requires what we’ve dubbed “Code RED”: reduction, education, and discipline. As our survey research mounted, these three themes kept emerging as definitive success factors to fitness. For example, a recent major study provided one recipe for cutting your risk of diabetes, heart attack, stroke, or cancer by 78 percent. The recipe? Avoid smoking, exercise three to four days per week; maintain a body mass index less than thirty; and eat a diet favoring fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Hmm…I don’t recall many fruits, vegetables (without cheese) and whole grains over the holidays (unless Apple Pie counts.)  I’m not a smoker, so that’s good.  But I haven’t learned to enjoy exercise.  Is that possible?

Good leaders look into the mirror, and accept the brutal realities (humilities?).  And they take commit the time and effort to create positive change.

OK friends…unite!  Let’s seize the day and arrest the one-pound-per-year blubberfest.  I have to get better at my Fitness, because I’ve just agreed to become a columnist for Faith and Fitness Magazine!  Seriously. How are you feeling about your Fitness today?  Better yet, think about how we can help each other…send me a reply with your ideas and lets get started.

Winter in Rice Park, St. Paul, Minnesota

Rice park sparkled like a Disney movie…an evening fit for a Prince and Princess.

Every grown father and daughter will attest to difficulties of maintaining a healthy, harmonious teenage father/daughter relationship….rarely Prince and Princess!

However, the recent Anna & Paul Batz Daddy Daughter Date Night was a Seven Fs clean sweep — blending faith, family, finances, fitness, friends, fun and future.

Last week, Anna Mary Batz accepted my formal invitation for a fancy evening of dinner and theater in historic, magical downtown St. Paul, Minnesota.  (Readers of the What Really Works book, will recognize Daddy Daughter Date Night as one of our most celebrated Success Habits.)

Cinderella is special to us.  Our family is uber-musical…we’ve been labeled the Von Batz Family Singers by affectionate fans in our church.  It comes honestly: my grandmother sang with the Chicago Opera and my mother still teaches music to this day.  My children have grown up on the piano bench, singing Disney and Broadway songs as I play the piano.  For us, the music is a faith builder, stress buster, and generation blender.

Anna as Cinderella, with the Von Batz Family Singers, 2009

Anna was born with my grandmother’s voice.  It’s wonderful, but not always easy. Adolescent girls these days spend most of their energy trying to fit in.  The moment she realized the gift was special was when she was cast as “Cinderella” in Cinderella.  She got the big part as a lowly 7th grader, who quickly became public enemy #1 by the 8th grade girls.

But, alas, when she sat still on center stage and sang “In my Own Little Corner”…the 8th grade girls understood.

Rice park sparkled like a Disney movie…a perfect evening for Daddy Daughter Date Night.  Over dinner, my Cinderella and I dreamed about where she might go to college.  We gazed with admiration over the Princess and Prince we’ve both become.  We talked about 16-year old girl problems.  And dreams for her future.  We talked about 48 year old Prince problems.  And dreams for his future.

Dinner was $96.  Cinderella tickets, $208.  Sharing cheesecake and decaf during intermission was luxurious…the dance through sparkling Rice Park with her arm around mine was priceless.

We’re all working on the relationships that are important to us.  Personally and professionally.  We’re all prince and princess one moment — and difficult teenagers the next.  That’s why it’s important to take personal responsibility to create the moment to connect with the people who count in our lives.

Good leaders understand take personal responsibility to build strong, resilient relationship with people who count in our lives.

What Cinderella in your life – personally or professionally – needs your invitation to dance?

Seize the day.

Yes, winter is here…the Minneapolis temperatures are hovering around 20 degrees F.  Daylight has been rapidly decreasing and we’re definitely cocooning against the intense cold.  Very few people would describe the onset of winter as happy. (Especially the golfers.)

And yet the buzz right now is brightly positive and happy.  Can you feel it?  There’s something magical about the days sandwiched between Thanksgiving and the New Year.  Even the most routine business meetings have an extra happy intensity.  In the traditional mix of personal/professional “How are you doing?” questions…we spend more time on the “personal” side.  Over breakfast last week, my most intense get-to-the-point client stopped to ask about my holiday plans.  And he actually listened to my answer. When I asked him…he actually answered, and he smiled.  We both were both just a little bit more happy than usual.

But it was the two kisses on the cheek that caused me to write this note.  Twice in 24 hours, two different business women ended a warm hug with a quick, very professional peck on my cheek.  Seriously, I’m not that handsome.  And I don’t have anything extra to give this year.  But I will admit, both conversations were happy — we spent most of our discussion on the personal side, counting our blessings and thinking ahead about our holiday plans.  Happiness. Warm hug. Kiss on the cheek.

Darn it!  Why aren’t we this happy all year round?  Our own experience will tell us that within a couple weeks, cocooning after the New Year typically causes the opposite affect.  The nasty stuff in the daily news we ignore during the holidays starts to make a more caustic impression on our lives. And the cold is colder.

Just to be clear, I’m not asking for a peck on the cheek from every warm business meeting hug.  But I do think we can help one another stay grateful and happier as a part of our daily, non-holiday routine.

Here’s my favorite strategy for lively, happier conversations: instead of asking “How are you doing?” why not ask: “What are you doing for fun these days?” Fun is one of the most powerful Seven Fs — when we are having lots of fun, the other Fs (Faith, Family, Finances, Fitness, Friends and Future) seem to be more lively in our life. It is especially powerful if lots of your fun comes through your work.

What ideas do you have to share about how to help us all stay happier all year round?  I would love to share them.